When the Sirens Stop: Helping Children Heal After Crisis

The 12-day war between Israel and Iran is now over. The sirens that sent families rushing to shelters have faded. In their place, the familiar sounds of everyday life are returning; School bells are ringing, cars are constantly honking, and children are laughing in the playground while slurping pop-ice. 

It appears that life has gone back to normal.

But if you are a parent or teacher, you might sense that things have changed beneath the surface.

A child who is usually outgoing may suddenly become unusually quiet. Another may not be able to sit still. Your child may act out, burst into tears at the smallest thing, or cling to you longer than usual at drop-off.

The truth is, many children are still carrying the emotional weight of those tense days. The shelters, the fear, the questions no adult could easily answer.

And the hardest part?

Most children do not have the words to say, “I am still scared.” They instead might express their feelings through stomach aches, tantrums, silence, or sudden anger.

It is important to remember that while some children may need professional emotional support, most simply need the steady presence of a caring adult. You just need to be someone who notices, who creates safety, and who offers space for children to cope in their own way. With the right tools and a bit of patience, you can make a lasting impact on your children.

1 Model, 6 Ways to Cope with Trauma

At Kav L’Noar, we often speak about the many ways children process stress. One framework we have found especially helpful is the BASIC Ph model. Developed in Israel by Professor Dr. Mooli Lahad, this model helps us understand how people naturally cope with trauma and build resilience.  

Each letter stands for a different coping style:

• Belief (meaning or spirituality)

• Affect (emotions and creative expression)

• Social (relationships and support)

• Imagination (play and fantasy)

• Cognition (thinking and understanding)

• Physical (movement and bodily regulation)

• 
  

Here is how you can gently support each of these coping styles at home or in the classroom.

1. Belief: Holding on to What Matters

When the world feels unsafe, belief offers children something steady to hold onto. Whether it is a family tradition, a comforting quote, a blessing, or a symbol of faith, these sources of meaning can help ground children in moments of chaos.

One way to explore this is by inviting your child to create an Inner Strength Shield. They can divide a paper shield into sections and fill each one with something that gives them strength. It can be a core value such as “kindness” or “family first,” a symbol from their faith or culture, or a quote, song lyric, or prayer that brings them comfort. This activity reminds children that even when everything else feels uncertain, there are unchanging truths and values they can rely on. It helps build identity, emotional safety, and hope.

2. Affect: Letting Feelings Out

Children need safe spaces to express their feelings, especially after a crisis. Emotions may come out through crying, laughter, silence, sudden anger, or creative outlets like art or journaling. A simple Feelings Check-In can go a long way.. You can ask your child, “How are you feeling right now?”,“Where do you feel that in your body?” or “What helps when you feel that way?” For younger children, using emoji stickers or drawing can help them label their emotions. Older children may prefer writing poetry, journaling, or talking.

To support emotional regulation, you can also pair this check-in with the Butterfly Hug: Have your child cross their arms over their chest and gently tap on each side for two minutes. This calming, body-based tool can soothe their nervous system and help them feel more in control of big feelings. When children are allowed to express themselves safely, healing can begin.

3. Social: Leaning on Others

After a crisis, many children feel safest around the people they trust most. That sense of security allows them to show emotions they might not display elsewhere, whether through behavior, words, or quiet clinging. Reconnecting within that circle of trust is a powerful step toward healing. A helpful tool is the Circle of Support activity. Have your child draw three circles like a target. In the center, they can list their closest supports (Ex: family or best friends). In the next circle, people they trust but see less often (Ex: teachers or mentors). The outer circle can include helpers they may not know well but still rely on (Ex: school counselor or neighbor). This visual reminds children they are not alone and helps them see that asking for help is a strength.

To reinforce connection, offer a 20-second hug (or, for older children, 10 minutes of quiet time together). Physical closeness builds safety and reinforces your presence as a calm anchor in their world.

4. Imagination: Safe Distance Through Play

Imagination offers children a powerful way to process strong emotions from a safe distance. Through storytelling, drawing, or pretend play, they can explore fears and feelings without needing to talk about them directly. One helpful activity is to create a Resilience Hero; a character who overcomes challenges, shows kindness or courage, and represents something the child longs for, like peace, strength, or safety. This hero can come to life through art, a short story, or even a bit of role-play. When children imagine brave self-inspired characters, it helps them regain a sense of control, strength, and hope.

5. Cognition: Making Sense of the Chaos

After a traumatic event, children may struggle to understand what really happened. Their thoughts can spiral, and fears may start to enter their minds. One way to help is by playing Thought Detective. Ask your child: “What do we know for sure?” ,“What are we afraid might happen?” and “What’s a better way to look at this?” This exercise gently guides them to separate fact from fear and encourages realistic, grounded thinking.

Pair this activity with the I Spy 5 Senses game: ask them to name five things they see, four they hear, three they feel, two they smell, and one they taste. Engaging the senses helps reduce an overwhelmed mind and anchors them in the here and now. Together, these practices strengthen emotional regulation and make the world feel more manageable.

6. Physical : Moving Through the Stress

Trauma isn’t just held in the mind but lives in the body as well. When words are hard to find, movement helps children release the physical tension they may be carrying. Try a simple Stress Reset Routine: shake out your hands for 30 seconds, take a few deep belly breaths, or go for a short walk and talk together.

Another effective tool one can use is The Lemon Squeeze Method. To properly execute it, have your child squeeze a muscle group tightly (starting with their fists as if they’re squeezing lemons), hold for five seconds, then slowly release. Move through other areas like the feet, shoulders, and face. This method helps the body relax more deeply and creates a warm, lasting sense of calm.

Overall, simple daily movement can make a big difference in helping children release stored stress and reconnect with their bodies.

The BASIC(Ph) Takeaway:

While all of these are great tools for children to use,  there is no one "right" way to cope and children will each respond to stress in their own way. What matters most is that we see them, listen to them, and support them through it. The BASIC Ph model reminds us that healing is possible when we respect the many forms resilience can take, be it through a belief, a movement, a drawing, or a conversation. In these small actions, healing begins.

For more stress management tips, download these FREE stress management exercises you can do with your family 👇🏻

All Stress Management Tips (2).pdf

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Thank you to our summer intern 2025, Tzvi Berman, for putting together this blog post!