What’s the point in even trying to deal..?
It was my last meeting with Huvi. As her mentor, I knew that I had helped. We had been meeting for a year and a half and Huvi always seemed to appreciate my input and life perspective. She once told me that without our weekly “hold on tight” deep and meaningful conversations, she might have dropped out of school.
Huvi had ADHD and her concentration issues affected everything. It wasn’t just that she couldn’t get her schoolwork under control. If she went to the supermarket, she would leave without half the items on her list. She would forget to answer emails and whatsapps. And worst of all- she struggled to focus during conversations, meaning that maintaining friendships was all but impossible. From Huvi’s perspective there was no point in even trying.
Huvi’s parents had lost their patience long ago. They started seeing a Kav L’Noar therapist to help them deal with her, and the shouting matches had calmed down as a result. Nevertheless, daily life at home together was still deeply frustrating for all three of them.
I knew that Huvi was an amazing person. Mentoring was perfect for her because she really needed the security of having a single person who would be there for her on a one to one basis. Huvi was someone who felt overwhelmed by everything around her. Having one person dedicated to helping her deal with things as they came up felt like a lifesaver.
I thought I understood Huvi by this point and had gauged the effect our relationship had on her.
Shifting Perspective
Boy was I wrong.
For our last meeting, to celebrate our mentoring relationship ‘graduation,’ Huvi and I went up in a hot air balloon. We had just been discussing how it’s always a choice whether to deal with reality or run away from it.
As we looked down at the skyline, our hot air balloon technician shared with us why he loved his job. “Here in the sky, I feel free! Every day, I leave all my problems back on the ground, and none of it feels real. How many other jobs do you know which give you the chance to escape everything?”
Huvi laughed and turned to me. “That’s just what we were talking about! And that’s exactly how the other girls in my class think. They feel that real life is too hard, and they are always looking for a chance to escape. But really, they are just making life that much harder!”
It was at that moment that I realized how Huvi’s perception of her life had shifted. She had learned through our relationship that it was better to deal than to ditch no matter how hard it could be. We were ready for landing!