Living for the moment, without consequences
Yossi and his friends spent most of their time roaming around the streets of Jerusalem, bored, with nowhere to go. They barely went to school. It was all too easy to find themselves in trouble. Unlike the others, Yossi did not usually get into fights or vandalize buildings. But he never had any money, and if he saw an opportunity to steal something, he wouldn’t think twice about the consequences.
Kav L’Noar paired Yossi with a mentor named Uriel. Yossi and Uriel had fun together, getting pizza, playing Foosball, even just walking around. Yossi was glad to have someone in his life who cared, and who was willing to spend time and a little money on him. Yet he would never tell Uriel what he got up to between their meetings or even what was on his mind. Yossi just focused on having a good time. All that Uriel could do as the weeks went by was to try to show him that he was open to hearing whatever Yossi wanted to share.
Learning to live beyond the moment
One day, Yossi was arrested for attempting to steal a laptop from a store. As part of the police proceedings, he was told to report for an interview with the Juvenile Probation Service*. Yossi told Uriel what had happened, and asked him for help preparing for the interview. While discussing what to say, Yossi revealed that he had previously tried to use a stolen credit card in the same computer store, which had been declined. He had run away, but there were cameras. He was worried that it might have been reported. Should he tell the interviewer about this incident- and at least get credit for admitting it- or hope that no one would find out about it and keep quiet?
Uriel was delighted that Yossi was finally opening up to him, and finally thinking things through. He would never have talked about a dilemma like that in their first meetings six months earlier. However, he told Yossi that he wouldn’t make the decision for him. They would discuss the options together, but Yossi would have to take responsibility for the decision and its consequences. Regardless of the outcome, Uriel would be there for Yossi, ready to support him and face up to whatever lay ahead.
*The Juvenile Probation Service is a State-run therapeutic and educational service, which provides diagnosis and treatment services for 12-18 year olds suspected by the police of having committed criminal offences. It also assists the law enforcement services when they make decisions about what will happen to law-breaking minors.