Mentoring is a gentle intervention with powerful results.

Kav L’Noar pairs children and teens with young men or women with whom they can develop a secure, yet casual relationship, which is both supportive and fun.  This relationship then becomes the vehicle for growth.

Mentors are young men and women, usually in their 20’s, who meet with the child or adolescent twice a week in an informal setting away from the office and home.  They provide a supportive, confidential and nonjudgmental relationship in which the child can express himself, struggle with establishing an identity, bring his behavior in line with his values, and start on a path to fulfilling his potential.  Because the mentor is not an authority figure, this relationship is not seen as threatening by the youth, who over time, identifies with the mentor and wants to emulate him/her.

Mentors are chosen individually and very carefully by our mentoring supervisor, Sima Gordon to insure that the “shidduch” is successful.   Personal preferences in relation to language, culture, religious observance and interests are honored.  We ask all families to commit to a minimum of six months so the relationship can develop.  The average length of this service is one year, with some relationships continuing into multiple years.  Mentors are formally supervised every month individually, and receive both clinical education and group supervision every other month.

Parents are contacted by phone quarterly to obtain their feedback, and make changes in the mentoring if necessary.  Based on feedback from parents, we are able to document significant improvement for youth being mentored in the areas of family communication, social skills, school performance and overall behavior.

FEES

This is a professional relationship, and mentors are paid.  Consequently, there is a fee for the service.  It is a monthly fee based on our sliding scale.  Post dated checks for the first 6 months are required at the onset of the service.

 Mentoring relationship stories:

Soon after Kav L’Noar opened we met with a mother and her 11-year-old son. The boy’s parents were going through a very violent and frightening divorce.  One of the most traumatic experiences for this child was the constant, moving, packing, preparing to leave one home for another, which took place several times over a period of months.

Normally an above average student, Baruch* had begun to fail in School academically, and to act out aggressively in the Schoolyard. The School wanted him out. We worked with the mother and son, referred them both for therapy, formed a connection with Boruch’s School, and soon after began a mentor match. The match began in December of 2004.

One meeting, Baruch and his mentor Yoseph* were walking together and passed a garbage dumpster filled with book bindings, and they decided to see if they could schlep everything home to Boruch’s house. During this painful time of moving again and again and feeling “homeless” Boruch and Yoseph decided to build a house.  Week after week, month after month armed with hot glue guns and rejected bookbindings, Yoseph and Boruch spent part of their mentoring time creating a house together.  We believe that this activity along with many others allowed Boruch to build within himself a sense of safety and control during a time when everything in his life was chaotic. The house grew to be quite large, very impressive and important to Baruch.

The divorce was completed in the spring of that year. On Erev Lag Baomer, Boruch explained to Yosef that even though the year before he had been the neighborhood organizer for the giant bonfire, he wouldn’t do it this year. He wasn’t even going. He didn’t have the energy.  We sensed a shame and pulling back for him from the community as the painful divorce process had dragged on. His mentor Yoseph suggested that they build their own bonfire together and invite Boruch’s mother and sister.  They collected all the wood, prepared the bonfire and went to get food. When they returned they found that all the wood had been stolen.  Yoseph told me that his heart dropped with concern for Boruch…yet another disappointment.  He asked Boruch what should they do, and Boruch responded with words that were symbolic of theme in their relationship.  “We’ll build it bigger and better this time.”  And they rebuilt it. They held hands together and danced around the fire and sang Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai, just the two of them.

This child, a year later in the same School, was doing well.  He has moved with his mother into their own new house and he continued to get together with Yoseph.

*names have been changed