Services> Mentor Program
Mentor Program
Many of the youngsters, who
come into our office, express feelings of estrangement from their families,
and/or their surroundings. Children of English speaking parents have been
brought up in homes that are different from’ mainstream’ Israeli society and
find that they face identity crises and challenges to their religious
commitments. As such, they cannot establish a meaningful relationship or
find the adult role models they are searching for in either of their
parents. Oftentimes, they find inappropriate role models. Sometimes they
harbor feelings of disenchantment, anger and even may feel betrayed by their
parents. Kav L’Noar’s mentoring program was established in January 2005 to
help meet these emerging needs, and has proven to be our most successful program
in helping youngsters “get back on track”. Following an in-depth
interview, screening and training by Sima Gordon, our Mentoring Supervisor;
youth are paired with appropriate mentors. Unlike other mentoring programs our
mentors are paid. The pairs usually meet twice a week for one and a half hours
at a time. Mentors are expected to make a commitment for at least one year
and are formally supervised once a month and maintain ongoing telephone contact
with our Mentoring Supervisor.
The Mentoring program is partially
sponsored by the Ministry of Immigrant Absorption
Mentoring
relationship stories:
Normally an
above average student, Baruch* had begun to fail in School academically, and to
act out aggressively in the Schoolyard. The School wanted him out. We worked
with the mother and son, referred them both for therapy, formed a connection
with Boruch's School, and soon after began a mentor match. The match began in
December of 2004.
One meeting,
Baruch and his mentor Yoseph* were walking together and passed a garbage
dumpster filled with book bindings, and they decided to see if they could schlep
everything home to Boruch's house. During this painful time of moving again and
again and feeling "homeless" Boruch and Yoseph decided to build a house.
Week after week, month after month armed with hot glue guns and rejected
bookbindings, Yoseph and Boruch spent part of their mentoring time creating a
house together. We believe that this activity along with many others
allowed Boruch to build within himself a sense of safety and control during a
time when everything in his life was chaotic. The house grew to be quite large,
very impressive and important to Baruch.
The divorce was
completed in the spring of that year. On Erev Lag Baomer, Boruch explained to
Yosef that even though the year before he had been the neighborhood organizer
for the giant bonfire, he wouldn't do it this year. He wasn't even going. He
didn't have the energy. We sensed a shame and pulling back for him from
the community as the painful divorce process had dragged on. His mentor Yoseph
suggested that they build their own bonfire together and invite Boruch's mother
and sister. They collected all the wood, prepared the bonfire and went to
get food. When they returned they found that all the wood had been stolen.
Yoseph told me that his heart dropped with concern for Boruch…yet another
disappointment. He asked Boruch what should they do, and Boruch responded
with words that were symbolic of theme in their relationship. "We'll build
it bigger and better this time." And they rebuilt it. They held hands
together and danced around the fire and sang Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai, just the
two of them.
This child, a year later in the same School, was doing well. He has moved with his
mother into their own new house and he continued to get together with
Yoseph.
*names have been
changed
D. and his mentor have been together now
for about a year and a half. E. had to miss a week of mentoring because of tests
for semicha. So E. explained the situation and asked D. if he could
please say a perek of tehillim for him and wish him luck. When
they got together the following week, E. told D. that he thought he passed his
test. D. said: “I know and you did b’zchuti (in my merit).” E.
asked him: “What do you mean?” D. explained. In Israel, one of boys’ favorite
games involves collecting and pitching apricot pits. D. had collected about 500
over the years. After he thought about what E. had said, he came up with a plan.
He took his 500 apricot pits to school the day of E’s test and he set them on
the table in the front of the room. There were three scheduled recesses in
school that day. D. announced a deal with the class. Whoever would say a perek of tehillim for E’s success would get four apricot pits. The
class finished the bag of pits, which meant that Sefer Tehillim had been
recited over several times that day.
End of story.
What is so amazing here is that D. was
failing in school and being expelled when his mother came to KLN. Sadly, his
parents continue to fight over him even though their divorce is complete. D’s
mentor has been a lifeline for
him.