A Kav L’Noar Mentor Reflects on her Experience
Dear Mrs. Gordon:
When I started working as a mentor for Kav L’Noar, I had my doubts as to the program’s success, especially since I thought that tutoring helps a lot more. Instead, I found that creating a personal relationship not only empowers the personality but also provides tools for coping with life’s challenges. I thought that meeting with someone twice each week is too short a time in which to convey normative content and life habits, especially in the critical teen years. I could not believe that three hours weekly, taken from a disorderly routine, can influence a person to become organized especially when, following each meeting, they go back to their home and regular environment which is usually characterized by instability and difficult emotional challenges.
But, with the help of proper guidance, support and continuous sharing of information, while maintaining a warm relationship with my mentee, my young lady advanced, one step at a time, and reached places that I could not believe we would reach at the beginning of our journey. The meetings I had with my mentee included setting boundaries, discussing behavior problems, assisting with personal hygiene, helping develop organizational skills for daily living, building self esteem and understanding the ramifications of negative behavior. Slowly, and with the amazing support that you, Mrs. Gordon (Kav L’Noar’s Mentoring Supervisor) provided at our monthly supervision meetings and informal phone conversations, my mentee and I created a positive and mutually satisfying relationship.
She began to understand that it pays off to communicate and to run her life and social relationships in a normative and positive way. This included being more relaxed when speaking with others, being aware of feelings and acting out of awareness and not out of impulse or a need to vent emotionally. She learned to recognize her strengths and improved her self esteem to the point where she was able to compliment herself and to accept compliments from others. She began to appreciate the value of positive behavior which enabled her to compliment others and, in effect, give something of herself to another person. She learned to take responsibility for keeping a schedule and to make sensible financial decisions. She learned to delay immediate gratification and to behave properly in public such as when eating at a restaurant and being in a new, unfamiliar venue.
I learned many new things and developed greater personal empowerment both from our monthly supervision meetings and from the group supervision and professional development workshops held every other month. I got to know myself better during these meetings, something for which I will always be grateful. Since there is really no end to this story, I can only thank you and hope that your avodat hakodesh will be blessed by Hashem who should fulfill all of your wishes in good health and happiness.
Zahava
